Marital Customs

15:00 19-1-2010 Peking Culture

Traditional Marriage

Modern life in Beijing today is constantly changing and improving. Some of the traditional customs have gradually vanished; however, as a kind of life memories, the original taste and flavor which implies the authentic ideas of Beijing people still take root in people's mind. Some classical and traditional local customs retained by Beijing people are still surviving from the past.

A traditional marriage ceremony taking place in Beijing bears little resemblance to western-style clothes and wedding gowns. Ceremonies often differ in format, but are usually arranged by a matchmaker. Feudal society impenetrate the ideas that 'marriage depends on parents' command and matchmakers' word' and that 'the bride should be faithful to one marriage until death'. From the marriage engagement to the unification of the bride and groom, there are many unique and complicated etiquette requirements and procedures.

Proposing - the marriage introduction by the matchmaker. Through the matchmaker's introduction and after the parents' consent from both sides, the bride and groom respectively use red paper to write the name, age, native place and names of their three previous generations (great-grandparents, grandparents and parents). The red paper is then exchanged by the matchmaker to both families. The elders of both families then choose an auspicious day and suitable location to meet and to discuss the opposite family's asset condition including the family reputation, the girl's moral standing and appearance or the boy's life experience and so on, to see whether they are properly matched.

Birthday Matching - When there is a possibility of marriage the couple have a discussion regarding aspects involved in the meaning of marriage. Both sides write their birthday on red paper and then ask a 'fortune-teller' to see if the girl and boy are suitable to be united. If the astrologer sees that the two birthdays complement each other they can then get married. If the couple is matched for marriage but their birthdays do not complement one another the couple will have to relinquish the idea of marriage.

Marriage Interview - The bilateral parents together with the matchmaker meet to discuss the appearance, physical qualities, family situation, and economical condition of each family. If both sides are satisfied with each other, then the marriage certificate will be written, providing the time and date for getting on and off the sedan chair, doing obeisance, sending the trousseau and picking up the bride. These are important components leading up to the wedding ceremony.

Presenting betrothal gifts -This ceremony takes place once the marriage engagement has been finalized. Gifts are exchanged. The standard of gift varies from situation to situation. The groom's keepsake is indispensability. Generally the gifts include a finger ring, bangle, jade or some other precious items. When the keepsakes and the marital letter containing the bridegroom's birthday are delivered to the bride's family, the matchmaker will bring back the bride's marital letter to the other side, thus the betrothal gift presentation is complete.

Picking Wedding Date - A lot of care is taken in choosing an appropriate day for the wedding ceremony. According to local custom weddings are seldom held in the first lunar month and marriage engagements are seldom decided in the 12th lunar month. Several days ahead of choosing an appropriate day, the bridegroom's family will ask the matchmaker to go to the bride's family and inquire about the bride's menstrual period. It is said that if the wedding ceremony is held just at the time of the bridal menstrual period, both families will be unlucky.

Presenting Wedding Gifts - The groom's family will inform the bride's side of the date they choose to hold the wedding ceremony and deliver the clothes and jewelry which will be worn by the bride on the wedding date, as well as some presents prepared for the bride. Presents include goose, liquor, fresh fish, ham, gigot, cakes and pastries, fruit, clothes, jewelry and so on, all of which are full of favorable meanings. According to folk custom, goose is an essential gift as it signifies that the love between the two people will never change.

Trousseaus presenting - The delivery of the trousseau is a matter for the bride's family. It is usually held one or two days before the auspicious wedding date. The dowry that the bride's parents provide for their daughter is delivered to the groom's family. The trousseau generally contains a timepiece, mat bottle, mirror, tea canister, food box, tea set, toilet articles, clothes, bedding, and jewelry. Several families will also deliver some wooden furniture. There is also a 'longevity lamp' which is made of copper or tin. All dowries will be separately put into boxes and chests. The bride's family will hire some people to lift the gifts. The quantity of the trousseau generally depends on the wealth of the bride's family. The number of lifts it takes to move the trousseaus must be a lucky number. After the groom's family receives these trousseaus, the groom must go to the bride's family on the same day to express their thankfulness.

Wedding Ceremony - The families will execute the appropriate proceedings on the wedding date according to local customs. The format varies from locality to locality.

Meeting the bride - On the wedding date, the groom will personally lead the honor guard and go to the bride's family to meet the bride and escort her to his home for the wedding. The sedan chair used to meet the bride is covered with red satin and embroidered with flowers. Typically it is lifted by eight people. The cortege, in a carriage following the sedan chair, includes the matchmaker, the groomsman, the attendant for meeting the bride and the master of the ceremony ride. When the bridegroom arrives, the front door of the bride's family must be closed tightly. The meeting guests knock at the door outside to urge the bride to get on the sedan chair. There must be some people of the bride's family in the courtyard to ask for the 'red packages' which contain different amounts of money. After they get some wrapped money packages they will open the front door. The groom will then ask the trumpeter to play music.

When the bride gets on the sedan chair, she is supported by the hands of two people. Together they must slowly walk on the red carpet being careful not to step on raw ground. No matter how cold or hot, the bride in the sedan chair is not allowed to take off the headkerchief that covers her head. Before the sedan chair is lifted, the bride's parents must make a detailed inspection to guarantee its security. After the sedan chair is lifted, but before they leave for the groom's family, the bride's parents will send two brothers of the bride to accompany the sedan chair to see the bride off to the groom's family.

Making ceremonial obeisance - When the sedan chair and the honor guard return to the groom's family, the sedan chair will be lifted into the courtyard, firstly crossing the brazier. Those who see the bride off to the groom's family, including the bride's brothers, will enter the courtyard to have a rest and the groom's family will entertain the guests cordially with a banquet.